I’m too tired to write this blog post. It’s been a long week, full of logistical and emotional ups and downs in both my business and personal life. It’s difficult, you know, when you care about your work, but you also care about your family and your community. It’s hard to sometimes feel spread so thin, without the proper energy or focus to give your all to everything that matters.
When my kids were little, and my husband traveled a lot for work, and I was trying to keep up on my writing, I imagined life would never be as busy as it was then. Then when the kids got into high school, and we were constantly on the run, and my work was picking up, I thought life would never be as busy as it was then. Then my kids left the home and my work settled down, and life actually did get slightly less busy for a short time, but only a short time, because then I was finally able to launch projects I’d never had time for before, and before I knew it, life was crazy again.
Many of our friends are older than us and talk constantly about retirement. They look forward to giving up the rat race, but that’s a way off for us, and I’m not sure I believe life will ever really slow down. After all, a writer can write forever, and there are likely grandkids in our future, and grown children who will need our help.
I confess for a few minutes every day, I do fantasize about giving this all up and buying a cottage in Ireland and just writing for pleasure. But then I sit back down at my computer and re-engage with the good work I’m doing. And though it’s sometimes tiring and frustrating and confusing and hard, it’s also stimulating and pleasing and interesting and achievable.
Most days, I don’t feel like I have even a part of the answer much less the answer, but I choose to not dwell on that. I choose to believe if I just keep moving forward, the little answers will come as I need them, the energy will rise when I need it to, the fog will lift when some trusted adviser or total stranger says just the right thing. And most days this is exactly what happens. Whether I’m writing a story or launching a new program, each day brings me one step closer to where I need to be, even when I’m not sure where that is. It’s that faith that keeps me going. It’s that faith that gave me the energy to write this post after all.
Journey on, one step at a time. You’re closer to your destination than you were yesterday, and that’s close enough for now.
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